The Tragedy of Boredom the Curse
by winged hypocrite
Summary: The curses from Pandoras box are still flying around out there, and Boredom is having some problems. (Finished)
1. Chapter 1

He floats in the air, being pulled by air currents for a minute, and then breaking free to go upwind. He swoops and glides, brushing shoulders with the pigeons in his descent. The birds which had been looking surprisingly determined for flying rats immediately stopped and dropped to the ground to peck at the empty concrete and get stepped on by pedestrians, or hit by cars. He laughs as he watches one get chased by a toddler, out of all the animals that he had met in the years he had lived, pigeons and dodo birds had been the only ones to not figure out to stay clear of him. And everyone knows what happened to the dodo bird. The other animals had figured out a long time ago that knocking into him would cause them to lose their will to move, and work. They would start simply staring off into space and sleeping. But pigeons aren't that smart.

Today he felt like doing something more interesting than distracting the birds. He swooped into a building, through the ventilation duct, into a sink drain, down a vertical pipe, out a faucet, and through an improperly closed door, into a classroom. The fiend of Boredom smiled benevolently at one of his favorite subjects, an Algebra teacher. This would be easy, because the smaller curse fiend that lived in the professor had already started the job. He simply nudged a few more students along the right path, and sat back to watch the chaos that he had started. A few of the kids fell asleep, and a couple more stared at the chalkboard as if they could read it with half closed eyes. The rest started conversations with their neighbors, through notes, whispers, or blatant shouting. The teacher, startled out of his lecture, attempted to bring order, but Boredom knew how useless the attempt was. He left for his next victim.

After ridding the school of a single attentive student, he moved on to bigger game. Now he flew into a nearby office building, full of people who were very easily bored. Boredom entered the room, and looked around. And then he saw an interesting thing. Someone was incredibly bored, and he knew it wasn't his fault this time. Often people are bored by a source other than him, a particularly tedious teacher who had a small fiend possessing him or her for example. But even people who had curses living inside of them never caused this stage of dullness. The woman had gotten to the "Anything is better than what I should be doing including counting the wrinkles in my hands" level. This is a very advanced stage, and the fact that she got there with out his help astounded him. He fell instantly in love. But there wasn't much he could do about it. He was a fiend after all, and she was a human. It was not only improbable, it was physically impossible.

But that didn't stop him. He stared at her for the rest of the day, watching her get distracted from her task by one tiny thing after another. The rest of the world marveled at everyone's productivity, because they had no Boredom to distract them. Eventually the impact was felt by War.


	2. Chapter 2

"Sir, New Zealand and Madagascar have made a peace treaty! They've stopped fighting! That was your biggest outlet!" One of the minor fiends said, reporting to War.

"WHAT! How did you allow this to happen?" War roared at the cowering fiend. "You told me they weren't going to get one together forever!"

"All of the reports said that they wouldn't be able to have one for another two weeks at the least!" The fiend explained, pulling out charts and graphs that were plotting the progress of the war.

"How on earth did they manage to do this so quickly? Just the legal proceedings alone should take a week and a half! MY lawyers can't even go over a simple law suit in a few days, never mind a peace treaty!" War looked impressed in spite of himself.

"Apparently productivity all over the world has quadrupled, or even more than that in this case. Perhaps Focus (one of Hope's kids) has strengthened."

"Or perhaps Confusion or Boredom is taking a vacation." War got up, and moved to his phone. "This is important. I will deal with it myself. Tell my secretary if she disturbs me I will ask Famine to visit her home country."

"Yes sir." The lesser fiend replied, glad that he wasn't going to be in trouble for this mess.

Back with Boredom, he was still following the woman around as if he was a puppy, as opposed to one of the most terrifying forces in the known world. She was just wonderful. He had learned her name was Meredith (her name matched her personality, it is very boring) and that she lived in an apartment near work. This is good because she barely had the concentration to get her self there. Once she was at home she watched T.V. constantly, occasionally stopping to get something to eat. Boredom didn't see how such a wonderful person was able to exist. He couldn't stand it. He felt his cell phone ring (it was on vibrate) but immediately shut it off, he didn't care about anything but her.

War threw the phone across the room. It landed with on the couch, which is good because he'd already broken two others recently and was going over budget.

"Uh… Something wrong sir?" his assistant fiend asked, who had floated in just in time to see the phone fly.

"Yes. Boredom won't answer. That means I'm going to have to go find him myself. As if I haven't enough to do already, with Madagascar and New Zealand acting like best friends." He sighed, and sat down at his computer. The cell phones that the curses carried all had tracking devices, so that they could find each other in a hurry. Before cell phones were invented they had had to use smoke signals, which were notoriously unreliable. He typed "BOREDOM" into the database and found him in Brooklyn, NY, US. "Of course," he growled, "It has to be on the other side of the world." And he disappeared.

Only to reappear in Brooklyn, right next to Boredom. War took one look at him and figured it out, ill-advised romances are a worldwide running theme, and they often connect with war. He shook Boredom out of his stupor.

"What is it! Leave me alone!" Boredom yelled, trying to look around War to continue staring at Meredith who had fallen asleep in front of the T.V.

"I travel around half the world to see you, and this is my thanks, cousin? I don't think so." War grabbed Boredom and teleported back to his office. "I am bigger and stronger than you so don't tell me to leave you alone!"

"Okay," Boredom said. Being so suddenly dislocated had brought him to his senses, and no sane creature wants War mad at them. "What did I do?"

"Actually it's something you didn't do. What have you been doing with yourself? You haven't affected someone in almost a week!"

"I've been busy."

"That's obvious enough. Why would you fall in love with a woman?"

"She's perfect, that's why! It's amazing!"

"Fine. Forget about her."

"NO!"

War continued to argue, but it didn't work. One of Boredoms strongest and most annoying traits is stubbornness. Finally he stopped trying.

"You know there's a way to be with her - other than stalking her that is. Why don't you possess a human? That way you talk to her, and she'll actually see you."

"You can't possess someone unless you prove that it is for the cause of chaos."

"No, you can't possess someone with out the permission of a senior curse. If War isn't senior what is? Go and possess someone."

"Why are you doing this for me?" Boredom asked.

"I hate to see a fellow curse so depressed. Well except for Sorrow. So go, have a good time." Actually War thought that if Boredom talked to this woman he would get distracted and lose interest pretty fast. He wasn't called Boredom for nothing.

Boredom was still vaguely suspicious, but the thought of being with Meredith in person made him ignore his caution. He vanished.


	3. Chapter 3

By then it was the next day, and Meredith had gone to work. Boredom looked around for a likely person to possess, and finally chose a man who worked nearby. So he jumped into his body, and walked into Meredith's cubicle. In an attempt to become further distracted from her work, Meredith was extremely willing to talk. And they did. Boredom was ecstatic, he had finally found someone with whom he could have a real conversation, her topic of discussion jumped around as much as his. Every day at work he would meet her and they would talk. But after a while he didn't feel that just talking with her was enough. He wanted her to admire him, and he decided to use his powers.

"Guess what? I'm really the fiend of Boredom." Being a curse and all he didn't have a lot of practice with breaking information gently, and boredom is never subtle.

"Uh huh." Just being perpetually uninterested did not make her stupid, or insane, and their former conversations hadn't gotten beyond weather and food preferences. He had certainly never mentioned being crazy. She calmly reached for the phone to call security.

"No honestly!" Boredom said, sensing skepticism. "Here watch!" He walked into the hallway, beckoning for her to follow. She decided to see what he was going to do, he didn't seem dangerous, and it might be funny.

Boredom led the way into a huge room that was divided into different sections for meetings. All the separators were made of glass so that you could see into the conference rooms. Through the glass Boredom and Meredith saw lots of people, all talking and taking notes furiously fast. Boredom's absence had affected the business world as well, all of the employers were completely attentive. Boredom floated out of the man he was possessing, and quickly flew through the room. In his trail people began to stop listening or taking notes and began to fidget. People presenting forgot what they were talking about and didn't care. One entire table of people collectively fell asleep. Boredom returned to the man he was possessing, who was currently staring listlessly into space, and Meredith who had a slightly perplexed look. He quickly re-possessed the man, and turned to her. "I told you so!"

"Oh." She said absently. "That's cool." Apparently ennui is a dampener on shock.

"I'm a fiend." He explained as they walked to Meredith's home. "One of the curses that Pandora unleashed onto the world. It's my job to bore everybody."

"How does it pay?" She interrupted quickly.

"Pretty bad on an hourly rate, considering it's a 24/7. I do it more for job satisfaction. Any ways so I've been perfectly happy doing to for a few million years. But then I met you, and it all changed. You are the most beautifully bored person in the world. I will do anything you want, just please stay with me forever!"

"Anything?" Meredith asked. Now Boredom knew that promising to do anything wasn't a smart thing to do, history not to mention mythology is full of cases where saying that went bad. But he didn't care.

"Yes, anything!"

"Well then." She thought for a few minutes, as they went up the stairs to her apartment. "I know what I want. I wish to be fascinated by something. It seems like everyone has something that they are interested in, why not me?"

And of course this is one thing that Boredom can't do. He is Boredom in itself, and she was the most incredibly uninterested person in the world. But he didn't care, he'd promised and if he did it he could live with her forever.


	4. Chapter 4

So he tried. Night after night he came to her house with something in the hopes of catching her attention. At first he tried a more human approach. Maxing out his poor host's credit card he tried books, expensive food, games, jewelry. None of it worked, he'd be lucky if she looked at his gifts for a few moments before falling asleep.

Then he tried bringing interesting people. Authors and reporters who had been to all the corners of the earth, famous actors and celebrities, even ancient evil rulers brought up from Tartarus. She would have short conversations with them, which ranged from warning labels to literature, and she never even smiled, never mind looked interested.

Next he tried mythological things, items that current people thought of as fairy tales. He borrowed Cerberus from Hades for a night and brought it to her on three leashes. She petted it a few moments – and then yawned. He brought the Golden Apples that Hercules had tricked Atlas out of. She mentioned that fruit wasn't really her thing. He found the wings that had born Daedalus to safety over the ocean and discovered that they still worked. He brought them to Meredith telling her that she could fly. She sighed and explained that she didn't feel like it now, was afraid of heights, didn't like that much physical exertion, and was allergic to feathers all in one breath. She then went back to watching television. And despite all this Boredom kept trying, he never gave up.

Meanwhile War was not pleased. He had thought that Boredom would be tired of this human long ago, yet he was now doing chores for her! The rest of the world was still much too attentive for his tastes. He decided it was time to put an end of this. He called on his friend Random Natural Disasters, and asked him to give Boredom and Meredith a little warning.

The next day Boredom was returning a little earlier than usual. He had been borrowing Hades' helmet of invisibility, and the line into the Under World had been shorter than usual. So instead of coming in the evening he was there in time to meet Meredith on her way back from work. He swooped down eager to see her again. And then Random Natural Disasters intervened. Out of nowhere a meteorite fell to the ground. It was a pretty small as meteorites go, about the size four feet in diameter. And it didn't hit anyone or even anything in particular. It had landed in the middle of an empty highway, with a huge explosion. It wasn't supposed to have hurt anyone, it was simply meant as a warning. Boredom, Meredith, and everyone else nearby stared. And they continued staring. It had been so amazing, so beautiful, the explosion itself but also the meteorite as it flew through the air. It seemed more than just a dumb rock that fell from the sky ruining the asphalt and piping. It was amazing, and almost felt like an honor to the people who had seen it, as if it had graced their presence, making them worthy. Not to mention that everyone's life had flashed before their eyes, which is always pretty attention grabbing.

No one noticed the street light swinging from the impact of the crash. It fell, hitting Meredith. She crumpled to the floor, and no one seemed to care but Boredom, they were still too entranced by the meteorite. He screamed, and flung himself into the first person he saw, which happened to be an old lady who had been going to the grocery. He ran as fast as he could to her, and leaned over her taking her pulse. She was almost dead. He started to cry, and she opened her eyes. For the first time ever her eyes weren't full of indifference, but awe, fascination, and happiness. "It's ok." She whispered, somehow managing to talk although she was practically dead. "It was so interesting."


End file.
